boysordeath's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- on marriage I recently read early Susan Sontag's journal. She wrote sporatically, in lists, and short excerpts. Even her passive writing was insightful and beautiful. Sometimes she wrote on subjects, not just what was happening in her life. She was married for a time, and had a son but lived abroad away from them for long amounts of time. When she was away, she didn't miss her family too much. I don't know why people get married, I don't know the drive. I've always felt socially conditioned to want it. I recognize that companionship is good, and that marriage is important if you want to start a family. I just am at a loss as to what gets people to take the plunge. When I listen quietly in my heart, to what I deeply want, marriage is not there. Why? I was asked once if I moved to New York so I wouldn't have to date, because I am afraid of rejection. I said I feel beautiful in NY (as opposed to in Utah), and I'm able to work constantly there. Which didn't really answer the question. It's possible I live here so I can be single and not feel pressure about it. Its also possible that I'm just afraid of rejection. I don't know , I just really don't know. 11:50 p.m. - 2011-04-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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