boysordeath's Diaryland Diary

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once tabitha said that i had probably had a lot of failed relationships. this gets to me at times.

i get tired of failing.. i don't know if i am ready to do it again. but i don't know if i am really one that is failing...

the problem is not as much within me as it is discrepencies between what i want and who he is. i still love him for all that he is, even when he's a little asshole. i guess i just need to leave it though.. because little assholes sometimes give up easily, are judgemental, do not feel that their unhealthy ways of dealing with things need correction.

i know a few nice dudes and girls that love me for who i am, find my need for open communication and my honesty refreshing.. do not ever even *think* i am capable of "being a bitch." hope that someday i love one of those dudes too.

i don't feel too regretful for trying. i can hopefully enjoy his company a bit longer (i don't want to kick him out, really). sometimes you just gotta do what you feel you need to. try drinking too much or getting out of control w other substances. whatever. vomit all over the place. do it a few more times if you need. and then learn your lesson.

12:26 p.m. - 2007-01-02

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